Mike's top five

Mike's top five St. Patrick's Day jokes.
#5. Knock, knock. Who's there? Irish. Irish who? Irish you a happy St. Patrick's day!
#4. What happens when a leprechaun falls into a river? He gets wet.
#3. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day? Regular rocks are too heavy.
#2. Why are leprechauns always asking for money? Because they're always a little short.
#1. Where does a  leprechaun buy his suits? From a four leaf clothier.

Top five ways to get in trouble on St Patrick's Day.
#5. Eat haggis, drink scotch and insist Scotland and Ireland are the same thing.
#4. Wear a button that says “Kiss me, I'm Iris”.
#3. Insist you are wearing something green and it's right here on your finger.
#2. Go door to door – demanding candy.
#1. Re-introduce snakes to the island.

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