Mike's top five

Today is Independence Day in the US. Our neighbor, the United States of America, is now 232 years old. 232 is pretty old! Mike's top five signs your neighbor is getting old.

#5. Used to invited everyone and throw cool parties. Now they just have the kids over and everyone is leaving by seven.

#4. Loud party music and fireworks have been replaced by large hats and looks of annoyance and concern.

#3. Party goers used to park all over your lawn and in your driveway. Now party goers park all over your lawn and your driveway, but for different reasons.

#2. Yelling and carousing that used to keep you up all night, is now replaced by a TV that's so loud they can't hear the doorbell.

#1. Meaningful gift to mark the celebration, replaced by Dollar Store inflatable walker and farty pants key chain.